A DRAG QUEEN/JOURNALIST

“Sometimes I’m like “What would Pollo do?” And that’s weird because it’s like I’m jealous of myself.”

A CANDY MAN

“I transubstantiate stuff all the time.”

A MUSIC MACHINE

“I’m a little boy and I fucking like dinosaurs.”

TWO FASHION HEIRESSES

“We spend a lot of time in New York. And then of course we go to Paris about four times a year.”

A DOG LOVER

“When the rescuers found him he was covered in bruises and disease-ridden from one end to the other.”

AN ALCOHOLIC EX-MORMON

“Look, if you’re a guy like me living in San Francisco, these are the people you know. And this is what they look like naked.”

FASHIONABLE FRANCOPHILES

“We do a lot of  street marketing, so you’ve seen our stuff before.”

A BUSH DOCTOR

“I’m really good with my hands. I mean, I do pottery and stuff.”

A TRUE HEDONIST

“Probably the craziest thing I’ve done was drop acid on the Great Wall of China.”

A SOUL MAN

“I was living in a ghetto speed-freak hotel, working at North Beach Pizza, and doing nothing.”

AN OG BARTENDER

“Leave your panties at home, baby…I’m a busy man.”

A KARAOKE WIZARD

“My sandwich is in there. It’s probably getting cold.”

A BLUE COLLAR WINE CONNOISSEUR

” I was a cook, and I had never really thought of myself as the owner of anything.”

A SEX BLOGGER/REPORTER

“Well, I see what you’re saying, but you’re talking about fingers getting chopped off and I’m talking about porn.”

ROPE PUSHERS

“People would be like, “’You know you’re white right?’”